Saturday, July 16, 2011
Tell-tale signs // 2:10 AM
Well, if you've been through various relationships as i have. When someone tells you its her not me, well she actually means its you. So quietly packing stuff and slowly distancing is just tell-tale signs that's its going to be over.
All i can do is wait now for those "never want to be heard" sentences.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Need a shift of life // 3:43 AM
We must shift the way we see things from day to day, if we cloud our lives with heartache, anger, hate, and depression we are merely affirming that the devils legion of darkness is taking over us, i know what that feeling feels like and i will never ever go back to where i was ever again, but sadly lately ive fogotten many things and let myself slip into the darkness. I forgot that i should, each and everyday take a few minutes to focus on the day's task, close my eyes and think of the place that makes you happy or the people or person who brings you in to total bliss and that clams your heart and soul, and then start your day!! I have lost that bliss, and ever since i left melbourne ive been trying very hard to find it again, but ive failed and constantly find myself lost and figuring my way again, i do however sometimes imagining that im in Citylife melbourne sitting in the Row of seats i always sit at and let the word of God consume me ( Its my church in aussie by the way ) and the way it changed me, Those are my happy places and great times in my life. I know i cant think of beautiful sunset's now because ive lost mine, or the sweet sweet rising sun's, or wonderful beach views or even peaceful places like waterfall's, I cant think of those places because well its nice to view them with someone you love beside you rather then being alone, Till the day i can share those places with someone and who loves me in return, i wish i could be back in the place that made me truly happy... But i know so-long that i am stuck here in KL i will never, and life on a daily basis for me is dreadful...
Quote // 3:40 AM
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.” - Frank A. Clark quotes
Fallen // 3:25 AM
Look's like its just me and you soon blog, a lot has happened and there has been no outlet for me. I thought i was strong like before, but i was wrong. As much as i try to help others, apparently im arrogant and egoistical in my preaches and i except that. Thou shalt not condemn those against me, but say a prayer that one day they would forgive me if i am wrong.We should never let anyone else dictate our lives, but if it ourselves who view things sometimes that is true damaging, sometimes its the words of others, sometimes its others actions, true that it is only words but i know that some of the words spoken are honest. You are who you think you are, and by saying that i know that i am lost.End Note: I hope that you would find someone better than i was, greater than i was, and nothing like i was. “May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.” Its not the end, but i know its coming. I'm not prepared but it something that has to be done.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Theodore Roosevelt // 3:27 AM
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt
Saturday, May 21, 2011
// 6:30 AM
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Fears are nothing more than states of mind fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear. Thus a feeling of utter unworthiness can be a source of courage. I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experience behind him.
Not enjoyment, and not sorrow is our destined way, but to act that each tomorrow may find us further than today.
take control // 6:28 AM
Take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits. Don't give up and don't give in...
deepak Chopra // 6:19 AM
"Life is the coexistence of all opposite values. Joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, up and down, hot and cold, here and there, light and darkness, birth and death. All experience is by contrast, and one would be meaningless without the other." - Deepak Chopra
humiliation // 6:17 AM
Just as a stream flows smoothly on as long as it encounters no obstruction, so the nature of man and animal is such that we never really notice or become conscious of what is agreeable to our will; if we are to notice something, our will has to have been thwarted, has to have experienced a shock of some kind. If every day a man takes orders in silence from an incompetent superior, if every day he solemnly performs ritual acts which he privately finds ridiculous, if he unhesitatingly gives answers to questionnaires which are contrary to his real opinions and is prepared to deny his own self in public, if he sees no difficulty in feigning sympathy or even affection where, in fact, he feels only indifference or aversion, it still does not mean that he has entirely lost the use of one of the basic human senses, namely, the sense of humiliation.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
bday // 6:13 PM
Spent the whole day figuring out if i should wish her or not. In the end i didn't. She's probably having a blast like always! Hope she has a awesome year ahead, =)
Happy Birthday!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
lazyness // 2:35 AM
Lol, i guess my blog has become some what of a notepad to when i think i should say something or rather when i get inspired or depressed. How ever, be it as it may... Life is okay so far! =)
Monday, May 09, 2011
Ultimate measure // 4:08 AM
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy, sometimes we have to believe before we can see. I do not write so that one day someone will think my words are inspiring. My words are not inspiring they are merely inspired. Even as the night skies come down on me all i can think of is the warmth of God that keeps me warm and safe. Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it rekindles the great. I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. The greatest thing God has done through me in prayer is what he has done in me through prayer. I believe that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it... The one thing worse than a quitter is the person who is afraid to change.
love and happiness // 4:05 AM
Love takes time. It needs a history of giving and receiving, laughing and crying... Love never promises instant gratification, only ultimate fulfillment. Love means believing in someone, in something. It supposes a willingness to struggle, to work, to suffer, and to rejoice. Satisfaction and ultimate fulfillment are by-products of dedicated love. They belong only to those who can reach beyond themselves; to whom giving is more important than receiving. Love is doing everything you can to help others build whatever dreams they have. Love involves much careful and active listening. It is doing whatever needs to be done, and saving whatever will promote the others happiness, security, and well-being. Sometimes, love hurts. Love is on a constant journey to what others need. It must be attentive, caring, and open, both to what others say and to what others cannot say... Love says no with empathy and great compassion. Love is firm, but when needed it must be tender. When others have tried and failed, love is the hand in yours in your moments of discouragement and disappointment. Love is reliable. Love is a choice and commitment to others' true and lasting happiness. It is dedicated to growth and fulfillment. Love is not selfish. Love sometimes fails for lack of wisdom or abundance of weakness, but it forgives, knowing the intentions are good. Love does not attach conditions....Genuine love is always a gift. Love realizes and accepts that there will be disagreements and disturbing emotions...There may be times when miles lay between, but love is a commitment. It believes and endures things. Love encourages freedom of self. Love shares positives and negatives reactions to warm and cold feelings. Love, intimate love, will never reject others. It is the first to encourage and the last to condemn. Love is a commitment to growth, happiness, and fulfillment of one another.
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
gary R blair // 4:08 AM
“When one begins to purposefully perform acts of kindness, the spirit changes and soon doing good deeds becomes a focal point for our life; doing good begins to be the same as feeling good. The periods of emptiness when we search for the "meaning of it all" begin to fill with acts of kindness.” - Gary Ryan Blair
Sunday, May 01, 2011
blogskin // 4:16 AM
Im too old for this blogskin, im going to do a total rebuild soon as i have time! Back to plain white and black.
Tonight most of my questions and doubts were answered, i think im still to complacent to certain matters. Maybe that's why im always in the losing end, but then again its my nature. I hate this de javu feeling of worthlessness... my own downfall... nites all, have a blessed weekend.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Another saturday night // 4:02 AM
I for got what it was to sit down and type my mind out and not sound like a bitch... lol!! haihz oh well.
Everyone wants success; yet, they often don't know when they have it. For most, success is the desire for a 'better life', or more quantities; however, success is not material wealth. It is not to be sought in the outside world, but discovered within. It is kindness shared, support given, and love sought. Success matters most when pain enters our lives. Pain hurts; yet, we must remember when tears are on the outside, healing is on the inside. Success will take us where we want to go; however, the designated driver of success lies somewhere hidden deep in the mysteries of love, loving someone is completely different from being in love with someone. If there’s love in your life, then there is your sense of purpose. Head and heart are indisputably connected.. Your still my dream come true and i truly miss you, Sometimes, it is the words left unspoken, that hurt the most!! Love is a risk; that is how it works - you play and if you win, great, if you lose, you learn your lessons and play again... Where the mountains touch the sky where poets DREAM, where eagles fly A secret place above the crowds Just beneath marshmallow clouds lift your eyes to a snowy peak and see the soon- to- be we seek whisper DREAMS and let them rise To the mountains old and wise climbers climb, it's time to try where the mountains touch the sky Take me there. Oh take me now Someway, Someday, Somewhere, Somehow Where the ocean meets the sky where mermaid dance and seagulls fly A place in DREAMS I know so well The sea inside a single shell far across the living sea A pale blue possibility Beyond the castles made of sand Tomorrow in a small child's hand Only DREAMERS need apply. Where the forests reach the sky Men are equal and doves still fly No thorns of war, a perfect rose this is where the green grass grows Out beyond the crystal stream Like, I have a DREAM Imagine such a goal in sight for red and yellow, black and white whisper now, let the DREAM begin It's time to trust the truth within this is where we seek and find A gift in being colorblind Dream on Dreamers, hopes are high where the forests reach the sky take me there. Oh take me now Someway, Someday, Somewhere, Somehow. Now, listen close, the future calls "Build your bridges and tear down walls! " For time has taught and so it seems realities are born of DREAMS!!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Two days // 10:42 PM
second day since i got back from the bangkok trip, and im still tired. spent half my day stuck in a jam and omg do i hate it...
Gotta continue this later, heading out to zouk now... hehe!
Friday, April 22, 2011
overvalue // 3:54 AM
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. - Malcolm S. Forbes
going away // 3:52 AM
Looks like ill be away and wont be able to blog for a few days, =)
Going off to play the Thailand Paintball Cup in Bangkok, and ill be back on tuesday! Kinda exited really, its out turn for redemption. lolx!
Hope everyone has a good weekend ahead... God bless!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
may god give you // 3:40 AM
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
Shouldt // 3:08 AM
I shouldnt always run to my blog when only i feel depressed or troubled. Though many might tell me that blogging about my boring daily life is useless and not what a blog is about but, yeah... its my blog.
The meaning of life is to be who you are. Never ever change for anyone else. Live life to the fullest. Do not worry about the past, for it is gone and tomorrow may never come. Never take anything or anyone for granted, for we may never get to enjoy them again. Life is to find your passion, your heart, your soul, and live it. Never to give up hope and your dreams for dreams do come true, you will reach it if you try hard enough and you know that you can succeed, for a dreamer is a person who never gives up if you just put your mind to it and get away from the negative opinions of others. Life is a mystery in which we must search for the answer. When we think we have found it, we should then live by it and make the best of it. The meaning of Life is to survive and to live for yourself while living with others. To be happy and to not let oneself drown in sadness and despair. Survival through physical and emotional hardships. To accept what life is (struggle through obstacle) and to live it well with plenty of good stuff in between.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
// 8:03 AM
"It's your ability to inspire and uplift other people that matters, not your ability to outdo them."
because of you // 4:41 AM
Because of you, things make sense. You may not know this, but your the "center"...
reminder // 4:02 AM
An eventful day i should say, never a dull boring one when your me. *whispering self praise is no praise*, Happy that i finally got my custom back bar for my truck, my boys COMPLETE!! hehe... yeah last mod for him.
I think that being with someone is always special, no matter who it is. Each relationship teaches you different things and brings out different things from you, though it may not seem evident at the moment. My girl reminded me mostly about responsibilities and how im not actually there yet, (not even close) but its always a fresh reminder that i need to get my life in gear instead of create fallbacks and excuses to not do so, although this year has been progressing better or its best since i got back from melbourne. I keep bringing aussie up because when i was there, i was alone... Literally, and when i was there my drive to succeed out weighted my drive to wait/procrastinate. If that even makes sense, here its like my life got re-winded back to when i was in sunway college days as if i was 17 again, because back home im sheltered by family and i always have been and by my mom (thought most of the time i don't need her to do things, its like automatic) around to settle most of the stuff, like house bills, etc... which i was use to doing. Sometimes even banking since malaysia banking system is the PITS!! Yeah my mom's my fall back here. How sad a 27yr old man, still relying on his mom to help him... Brings a lot of movies to mind doesn't it. well this aint a movie, its my pathetic life and dare i say it, im trying to change my perspective and kick myself in the ass if i could.
wish i was smart, should have chosen books over CS back then... probably have my own company by now.... errghhh wake up loser.
Like one of my quotes said "It doesn’t matter where you are now, you are nowhere compared to where you can go... Everyone faces challenges in life. It’s a matter of how you learn to overcome them and using them to your advantage.", and i know that everyone wants to be a good child, giving them back everything that they sacrificed for you bringing you up. I cant at the moment buy my parents diamonds, a car, or even a house (though i dont think we would ever move unless needed), or even help with the bills. And for that i do feel like a failure. But wait, i am... I hide behind the excuse that ive achieved everything in life i set my sights on except my degree's. I didnt finish one, and now im struggling to finish, always giving myself reasons why i failed when in fact, its my fault. Im a lousy son, always giving my parents a hard time with stuff and though i never say it enough, i love them dearly... They have always supported me, and i let them down.
But that was reminder why i promised myself last year 2010, that this year it's all going to change, that id better my self although not instantly but gradually. We all have reality slapped into our face from time to time, some accept it, some rebel from it, some deny it, and some just dont care... Ive learned that people who care about you will never be blunt... and you can hate them for it, but look at it this way. Life is tough so wake up, and we have to try hard, is not a joke or a game, its life. We grow only towards what we want to become, towards our own set responsibilities, each person varies. But their normally the same i reckon? Im considered a late bloomer, and i told my relative that "im way past late", in most peoples fantasy world "HEY WHO DOESNT WANT TO BE A MILLIONAIRE." I do, but i want to earn my way there. I think im past the stages where "omg i want that car, its a chick magnet" or "wish i had a big house", or even "i wish to be in high society"... Only in that my pea brain has grown i guess, i hope in the future i wana be the husband who provides and give security. Though at the moment, im no where near it... I will get there, and thats my dream! being able to give my parents everything, and my wife and kids.... woah did i just say that! lol, age is catching up!
My girl asked me a question i will always remember, "what drive you?" not sure if my initial answer was "you" but, (i think i said that) its my parents. So again, who ever is reading my boring ass blog.... "What drives you?" ever sit and wonder? Let just say we all sit on the same religious beliefs that God, has a plan for all of us. A path that you should take, would take, and could take? now, aside from that, books always tell you that "your future is what you make of it" or "the choices you make now, builds your future" something like that... I reckon, "IF YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH, GO GET IT"... (benji if your going.... FETCH BOY!! im going to south affrica and kicking your ass)... bugger, i lost my train of thought. I found this quote when i looking for answers before and it goes “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” were talking about fear, anxiety, and challenges... dammit just do it. =)
Yeah, im going to pack my bag for TPOC this weekend in Thailand, I didnt realize were going for 5days, im going to be so broke and im going to miss my baby! (i dont think the feelings going to be mutual) =x. Yeah so hence, i need to pack, and weight my bags at home.
I know that tomorrows going to be a good day, its going to be gooooooood!! Just have to remind myself that "who i was once before, was actually better than who i am now" though many will arugue that you should grow and be a better person. I think my growth may have went sideways or rather backwards, I believe and i know i was better before. glimpse of it was shown today, and im happy. slow steps being taken... Have a good day who ever is reading this! God bless...
End Note: Don't follow a dream you dream with your mind, follow a dream you dream with your heart even if you know that dream is impossible that it would ever come true sometimes a winner is a dreamer who never gave up it is better to reach for the stars and to drag your feet on the tops of the trees then to reach for the tops of the trees and drag your feet in the mud. To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he/she has already achieved but at what he aspires to.
